Dear Young People…

We are sorry for not getting the gun laws changed.

Signed a BabyBoomer

 

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Niceandnerdy all the time, even on Mondays.

Going in the elevator to the 5th floor on a Friday morning differs from every other morning of the week.  I see smiling faces; people compliment me on my clothing or my hair.  People genuinely look well…happy.  I’ve noticed that on a Friday, people are more inclined to let things slide.  They are not as tense and they can actually be seen laughing. Can a Friday make that much of a difference?  I don’t know what the psychologist say, and I don’t know about everyone else, but on Friday’s I feel lighter.  I feel less hurried and more relaxed.  But I wonder what has really changed from any other day?  The day is actually just like the previous days.  The only thing that has really changed is us.  Our expectations, our anticipation, our sense of completion.  We changed how we think about the day.  So I wonder in my brain, why can’t everyday be a Friday?  Why can’t we smile on Monday and pretend its a Friday?  Why can’t we be nice to strangers on the elevators like we are on a Friday?

Here’s my challenge to you:  Come this Monday morning, tell your brain that it is a Friday – yea, trick yourself.  Smile, be nice, work with less intensity, think about your weekend as if it’s happening the very next day.

I’d like you to try it and let me know how it felt to treat each day like a Friday.  Of course I must be honest, I’ve already done it, and I realized how much of a difference I make in my day.  I have the choice to be miserable on a Monday or be different and treat my Monday and each day of the week like a Friday.

What about you?   I’ve chosen the “thank God it’s Friday” (TGIF) for everyday.  I mean after all, how can I be niceandnerdy only on a Friday?

And for those who missed me…yes, I’m back and thank you for reading.

niceandnerdy.

 

One bigger boob and other flaws.

Wow has it been that long since I wrote here?  Well I’m still kicking and I had some thoughts to pass along this week.

I was thinking about flaws.  Or should I call them things that are unique to each of us?

Why do we let people’s opinions make us feel a certain way?  Why does it bother us when they point out our flaws?  Why do we even care what they think.  We all have something different about us.  Maybe our nose is a little bigger, or we have big eyes, or we have big feet or wild hair.  We’re all different.  Yet, as much as we value our individuality, we still long to fit in.

I think its related to conformity.  We want to conform so much that we allow someone’s opinion, outside of ourselves, to affect us deeply.   If Becky Sue says she dislikes the green suit your wore today, you will feel hurt and rejected by  her observation. So, I ask you, why?  Why do you even care?  Why would you give Beck Sue that much power over something that you chose?  If your green suit makes you feel powerful and cute in it, why would one negative comment from Becky Sue change your thinking?

Its because we are constantly trying to conform, whether its subconsciously or consciously. We are being attacked by our own minds.  Think of it this way.  BEFORE Becky Sue commented about your suit, you were perfectly content and happy with your suit choice, but AFTER her negative comment, you started to doubt your choice and felt rejected.  What changed in a matter of seconds?  Your thinking changed.  Your brain tried to rationalize an outside stimulus – Becky’s comment, and internalized it, in order to “fix” it.  Your brain flooded you with anxiety and doubt and fear of non-conformity.

We go through our entire lives not noticing things about our selves, until some well-meaning person points it out to us.  I have very light scarring down the shins on both of my legs. They’ve been there since I was a little Tom-boy.  I never gave them much thought until one day at work, I was wearing a dress and a curious co-worker loudly exclaimed to me ” What happened to your legs?”  She was loud and I tried to explain how I had bad eczema as a child.  I was humiliated and embarrassed by her questions and the comments that she so publicly expressed.  I went home thinking that I would never wear another dress to work.  Why did I let this person do this to me?  Why did I give her that power?  Thankfully, my husband and other friends who’ve known me much longer, and never even thought twice about the scars, reassured me that she was just rude.  I realized how silly it all was and I vowed to never give someone that much power to influence how I feel about myself.  I love me, scars and all.  And, if I wanted to wear dresses, I would.  But I must say, I’m glad she never noticed that one of my boobs is a little bigger than the other one (because if she had commented on that, then I may have punched her).

So…I have this to say to you:  Stop it!  Stop letting people have power over your thinking.  You are unique and you will have flaws and people will always point them out to you.

Embrace every little thing about you, green suit and all.  It is what makes you, you.  Love yourself.  In the famous words of RHOA:  “Do you, Boo Boo!”